23 December 2005

If only...


CIA Chief Admits To Torture After Six-Hour Beating, Electrocution

December 21, 2005 | The Onion, issue 41•51

LANGLEY, VA—An internal CIA investigation into the possible use of illegal and inhumane interrogation techniques produced a confession from CIA director Porter Goss Monday, with the aid of waterboarding, food and light deprivation, and the application of wire hangers hooked to a car battery to the testicles. "I did it. We did it. We all did it. The president knew. The president did it. Please, God, please stop," said a voice identified as Goss' on recordings produced by CIA auditors. "Stop, please stop. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. The president won't do it again. Please let me die." Critics of the methods used to obtain the information continue to claim that torture is an ineffective means of obtaining intelligence, pointing out that Goss did not sound sorry.

3 comments:

Southernspeak4 said...

Hi toots...ahh, more confirmation that we are indeed not the white-hatted, white-skinned diamond-studded cowboys coming to the rescue of the world against the black-hatted, dark-skinned heathens, eh? Grrrr....

Paul Daniel Ash said...

Ha! I am LOLing right now. The funny thing is (and this is a total tangent), is that for as much as some ex-military guys at my work refer to them "sand n*****s" it's not like Iraqis are all that dark. There are folks on the Italian side of my family with more melanin.

And thanks for the phrase "diamond-studded cowboys." Very alternative lifestyle sounding, very Brokeback Mountain.

Javier said...

Damn It would've hurt!