21 October 2005

Melatonin, or...

I have been feeling a million times better since I started taking sublingual melatonin right before going to sleep. Course, since that time I've seen a whole lot more of D... so it's hard to know which has had the greater effect. This page is not the place for me to air details about personal life - my good friends can ask me what's going on - but the fact that there have been sort of incredible developments in my love life can't be minimised.

I may possibly be coming off of nights, or else be in a stronger bargaining position vis a vis my current job. We will have to see how that develops...

14 October 2005


Working here by myself for these long, dark stretches has encouraged me to think about what it means to be alone. And I think it comes more naturally to me than people who have known me a while realise. I was alone much of my early life, as much as I had my friends around me, and have been alone - if busy - in the years since my separation.

It has been an opportunity to be more aware of what goes on inside my mind. At the same time, I've missed the ability to get feedback on what goes on outside; perspective on the behaviour I manifest.

Where is the happy medium?

Crisis at work now... more later

12 October 2005

omg u r so kewl!!!

The whole Harriet Miers teenage-style note thing really cracks me up. My goddess, what a cartoon country we live in....

I think I have some form of Seasonal Affective Disorder from not getting enough sunlight. I feel low-mood and crappy but everything's pretty much OK. I mean, I wish I could spend more time with D but stuff is basically OK there, and I'm seeing my other friends as much - if not more - than ever. So I'm figuring it's something biochemical. It will definitely be good to get the hell off night shift. Things may change sooner rather than later at work, though I'm supposed to keep that on the D.L...

10 October 2005

What liberal ideology?

This is yet another incredibly eloquent essay by a liberal decrying the lack of a coherent liberal message... without making any attempt to define what that message should be.

Radicals have no such problem. Let me give you the radical message in short, sharp sentences... it may or may not be "sellable;" it does, however, have the benefit of being righteous. Selah.

The Radical Message

Size matters. Big groups - big government, big business, or big charities - are clumsy, impersonal, and prone to corruption. Radicals believe the best work is done by people "on the ground,"supported where neccesary by larger organisations that can do the necessary things small groups cannot. No to command-and-control by distant, faceless bureaucrats. Yes to nimble, democratic, improvisational, face-to-face groups supported by instantaneous communications and incredibly efficient, ecologically sensitive infrastructure. Put power in people's hands. Let government be a referee and fair arbiter rather than an overlord. Let businesses work as distributed democracies rather than top-down dictatorships. Let a million service organisations flourish rather than a corrupt Red Cross.

Downsize everything!

OK, that's my best shot, especially after putting back the better part a bottle of Kendall Jackson 2001 Cabernet. Feedback yo!

Nighty night...

08 October 2005

A good day's sleep...

I slept a solid eight hours this morning, all praises due to generic Tylenol PM. I finally rolled out of bed about five, had some dinner (breakfast), took a run, went to the gym, and came to work. I feel great! It's like it's the middle of the day (at 2:30 in the morning), and my brain works and everything. I just finished Life on the Other Side by Sylvia Browne, and straightened out my fantasy football team. I'll probably get to work on my Italian grammar at this rate. If I feel this way every night, it might just be worth it. Let's see if I can stay on my schedule over the weekend.

I was watching Link TV earlier, while I was working on the daily reports. Mayor Ray Nagin was being asked whether he thought the slow Federal response was due to racism. He denied it, but I thought what he did say was interesting. It was something along the lines of "I don't think it had much to do with race... I do think it had to do with class." And I thought, what a relief: when do US political figures ever talk about class? It is a completely taboo subject in this country. I don't mean to suggest that the subject of race is at all dealt with forthrightly... but at least there's a semblance of a dialogue. Conservative elites have been absolutely disciplined in crying "class warfare" whenever the subject of class is raised, and as a result... it just doesn't get raised.

And the predictable result?

The wealth of the 400 richest Americans (the Forbes 400) totals more than $1.1 trillion -- an amount greater than the gross domestic product of Spain or Canada, the world's eighth- and ninth-largest economies.

The number of Americans "officially" in poverty (income $9,827 for singles,
$19,157 for a two-adult, two-child family) is 37 million... about as many people as there are in Poland.

This country is totally split along class lines, with ridiculous amounts of power concentrated in a few hands - with corporate control of the economy driving more and more Americans into poverty and taking away the minimal social safety net built up over the years. All in service of an ideological agenda that should have been more than discredited in the Reagan years.


At the same time (to return to my usual apocalyptic theme), we have the spectre of rapid climate change threatening not only Americans but people all over the planet - of course with the worst consequences to befall the poorest everywhere. And this is not even to begin to mention all the species that will be destroyed through habitat loss, whether through climate change or pollution.

Double shit. Triple fucking shit.

07 October 2005

Here come those Santa Ana winds again...

It was a beautiful October day, mid 80s at the beach and bright bright sun. I smelled smoke on my way to work today, though, which does remind one of the downside of the Santa Anas. Still, I'm glad I enjoyed it, since the cooler weather is coming back this weekend.

I am working nights now, 10:30 to 6:30; I'm basically on Central European Summer time, getting to work at 7:30 in Rome, and going home at a respectable Italian 3:30. It's mostly just busy work until things get hopping in Puerto Rico at around 4:30 am Cali time, but the main difficulty for me is working at night and sleeping during the day. I'm basically subsisting on short naps through the day, and I feel like I'm walking underwater a lot of the time. I was really planning on writing and studying at night, but until my rhythms even out, it's all I can do to function.

This BBC programme has yet another reference to Bush telling foreign leaders about his conversations with God. It would be laughable, but this cartoonish Christianity is shockingly common at high levels in the US government. Future generations will shudder...

It's good to see conservatives attacking each other the way the left has for so many years; we shouldn't get too excited about this, though, because the Democrats are so pathetic they can't even take advantage of the first opportunity they've had in a generation. Still, it's kind of nice to see Ann Coulter going after her own side for a change. It's a crack-up, though, to see her rip into this guy for not getting the (admittedly confusing) difference between "which" and "that." Somebody get this woman a sandwich!

04 October 2005

Interesting facts about Grandma Justice...

Before we get all excited about this woman because the Republicans are pissed she got named, let's bear a couple things in mind:

  • She is said to be on the "extreme end" of the pro-life movement (like, there is a "moderate" end?)
  • She opposed the repeal of the Texas anti-sodomy statute struck down by her would-be predecessor Sandra Day O'Connor.
She's no Ruth Bader Ginsburg... but then again, neither is Ruth Bader Ginsburg.