25 November 2004

What am I thankful for?

I'm thankful for waking up this morning.
I'm thankful for waking up late this morning.
I'm thankful for my peace of mind, fragile as it is sometimes.
I'm thankful for the fact my Mom lived to celebrate Thanksgiving this year.
I'm thankful that I didn't wake up in Gaza this morning, or in Guantánamo.
I'm thankful that I have family, friends, and a community that gives me love and support
I'm thankful for essential freedom of action.
I'm thankful for karma.
I'm thankful for God.

What are you thankful for?

22 November 2004

I Don't Practice Santería, I Ain't Got No Crystal Ball

Last night I was reading from Santería, the religion : a legacy of faith, rites, and magic by Migene González-Wippler. It's an account from an outsider's perspective of aspects of the religion, essentially respectful and thorough. The author has a lot of contacts that are santeros and babalawos, and it's quite detailed.

I was feeling a rising sense of irritation and jumpiness while reading it, which I noted because there was nothing in the book itself that was making me feel upset. I started to feel a sharp pain behind my left ear, and i was thinking maybe it was because my glasses were too tight or something... but the pain was lower, at the base of my ear. I kept reading because I was trying to figure out what makes one a "santero" per se... the process of hacer el santo ("taking the saint") wasn't clear to me.

The next chapter as I was reading was apparently a detailed account of the initiation of a santero. The author said that it would be wrong for a santero to tell about this initiation, but a santero had told her, and since she wasn't a santero, it was OK. I thought this reasoning was pretty weak, but I was curious, so I read on.

Suddenly, I heard a knock on the door. When I opened the door, there was no one there. I turned on the lights and there was no one upstairs, and all the other rooms were closed with the lights off. And the pain behind my ear was suddenly gone.

I closed the book, and brought it back to the library today.

21 November 2004

Spam Haiku

subject lines to four messages I got today:

Pliable and soluble lozenges for genuine guys
someone you know is getting better because of it
adolescent ang sexy angels are holding back you!
countenance banking company compete for your loan

Today's card: Page of Coins

20 November 2004

Luke Skyywalker, "Y Tu Mamá También," and the Future of Big Pimpin'

Today we worked out with Ivan's young client Matt, and we played the usual Saturday assortment: techno first, then hip-hop. Ivan rolled out some Too Short from 1989, but apparently that was just not G enough because he dropped the 2 Live Crew CD after only a couple tracks. So we schooled young Matt on raw ass nasty rap from the 80s, which was fun. I really came up on that shit, and it's got to be a reason - though far from the only reason - why I spent so many of my teenage and young adult years pretending to be such a pimp.

Last night I watched "Y Tu Mamá También" while waiting for the TD gig at Charley's. Great fucking movie... also a lot of great food for thought about sex, as was Charley's, the sweaty dive bar black hole of unrequited sexual need. You know, I never thought I would be quite so relieved about a sexual dry period. I still am a totally sexual person, but I am so, so burned out on sex with people I have nothing going with. I mean, I'd be perfectly happy to get something casual going if I could at least communicate with the person and feel like we were both in the same place with it. As it is, though... I'm fine just sleeping alone and not being distracted with all that shit.

For now, anyway...

Today's Card: Ace of Pentacles

19 November 2004

What Would Che Do?

It's kind of funny how I'm still fascinated with my childhood hero, Ernesto "Che" Guevara de la Serna. I still see his flaws as much as ever, even more so now that I'm about the age he was when he was killed. But, especially in these ugly days, I appreciate his strength and uncompromising spirit all the more. I'm not ready to become a guerrilla (so calm down, NSA spiders), but I would like to hold myself to standards as high as El Che's, and develop the qualities of leadership-by-example that made him such an effective commander.

Today's card: Temperance.

18 November 2004

Today is pretty much All College, All the Time. I nailed my Weather and Climate test and it kind of chaps my ass how I can get an A standing on my head in one class, and kill myself for a C+ in Physics and they both count equally. Hoo frickin' boy. Got to workon my database write-up for the rest of the day, so not going to work.

Me and Katie made dinner and watched a DVD of the Grateful Dead New Year's show from 1978, laughing at how young they all looked and getting nostalgic about touring. Hm. Nostalgia about the Grateful Dead. Like we're fucking fifty or something. Anyway, the cornbread kicked ass. She's still sad about Spike but Familiar (the cat) has been very engaging and sweet. He sweetly killed and ate a mouse, right there on the kitchen floor. Linoleum rocks.

Today's card: Wheel of Fortune
Yesterday's card: Eight of Cups

17 November 2004

Step on a Crack, Break Your Mother's Back

Gentle sunshine after heavy rain
Warm breezes and birdsong
the streets carpeted with fallen leaves
The hard edges softened
The silence falls like a blanket

What's left over when the router room floods
No internet
No phone
everything's right here
right now
the people around you
and yourself

What's left when the water recedes
and the world comes flooding back in?

What's hidden by the soft sunny days?

16 November 2004

This weekend made me realise I really should be blogging the freaky shit that happens to me, just for my own amusement and that of my friends. For example: my best friend Katie's dog just died. I loved Spike, he was just one of those great dogs, never on a leash, smart as a whip. He has been sick for a while, so his passing was a relief to us but sad nevertheless.

Anyway, I was going to help put him in the ground, because Katie's land is on the 1835 (I think) flow and the soil's not very deep. Katie decided that it would just be better all around if she cremated him. Katie being Katie, she was going to do it all herself, but I wanted to be there and... I mean shit, never burned a dog before.

So instead of doing homework on Sunday I was chopping wood at Katie's and building a huge funeral pyre in the fire pit. We thought we had a pretty stable place to put the little guy, and he was sitting pretty there for a while, but then the wind picked up and the fire burned away one side of the pile. It collapsed and... you guessed it: half-burnt dog comes tumbling out. Funny/sad chaos ensued as we tried to lever barbecued Spike into this raging inferno.

We eventually sort of moved the fire ON TOP of his body. On balance it was a pretty sweet time. We told Spike stories and just hung out on a pretty afternoon up Waiakea Uka. RIP Spike Dawg. See you on the other side.