lo stress

I haven't felt the energy to do the work that I wanted to do over this time alone. However, in being disappointed, or regretful that I haven't - for example - blogged as much as I'd hoped I would, I came to the realisatin of how much my work stress is really sapping my energy. A lot of times I come home drained, and in not being available even for myself, I came to realise how I haven't been available to the woman I love.

This is pretty painful, but it's also liberating in a way, because I can see what has been the obstacle - or, at least, an obstacle - to me doing the growth I've so much wanted to do. So I'm starting to look at what I can change to make the situation better and free up more energy. This will not be an easy process... and the paradox of doing work to be able to relax more is nettlesome to say the least. But I prefer having something I can put my hands around, rather than sort of an amorphous angoscia that I can't do anything about.

Denise comes home Friday! I can't wait, and I am really just releasing stuff like ballast so I can be as present as I can when she returns.