Melatonin, or...

I have been feeling a million times better since I started taking sublingual melatonin right before going to sleep. Course, since that time I've seen a whole lot more of D... so it's hard to know which has had the greater effect. This page is not the place for me to air details about personal life - my good friends can ask me what's going on - but the fact that there have been sort of incredible developments in my love life can't be minimised.

I may possibly be coming off of nights, or else be in a stronger bargaining position vis a vis my current job. We will have to see how that develops...

Alone...

Working here by myself for these long, dark stretches has encouraged me to think about what it means to be alone. And I think it comes more naturally to me than people who have known me a while realise. I was alone much of my early life, as much as I had my friends around me, and have been alone - if busy - in the years since my separation.

It has been an opportunity to be more aware of what goes on inside my mind. At the same time, I've missed the ability to get feedback on what goes on outside; perspective on the behaviour I manifest.

Where is the happy medium?

Crisis at work now... more later

omg u r so kewl!!!

The whole Harriet Miers teenage-style note thing really cracks me up. My goddess, what a cartoon country we live in....

I think I have some form of Seasonal Affective Disorder from not getting enough sunlight. I feel low-mood and crappy but everything's pretty much OK. I mean, I wish I could spend more time with D but stuff is basically OK there, and I'm seeing my other friends as much - if not more - than ever. So I'm figuring it's something biochemical. It will definitely be good to get the hell off night shift. Things may change sooner rather than later at work, though I'm supposed to keep that on the D.L...

What liberal ideology?

This is yet another incredibly eloquent essay by a liberal decrying the lack of a coherent liberal message... without making any attempt to define what that message should be.

Radicals have no such problem. Let me give you the radical message in short, sharp sentences... it may or may not be "sellable;" it does, however, have the benefit of being righteous. Selah.

The Radical Message

Size matters. Big groups - big government, big business, or big charities - are clumsy, impersonal, and prone to corruption. Radicals believe the best work is done by people "on the ground,"supported where neccesary by larger organisations that can do the necessary things small groups cannot. No to command-and-control by distant, faceless bureaucrats. Yes to nimble, democratic, improvisational, face-to-face groups supported by instantaneous communications and incredibly efficient, ecologically sensitive infrastructure. Put power in people's hands. Let government be a referee and fair arbiter rather than an overlord. Let businesses work as distributed democracies rather than top-down dictatorships. Let a million service organisations flourish rather than a corrupt Red Cross.

Downsize everything!

OK, that's my best shot, especially after putting back the better part a bottle of Kendall Jackson 2001 Cabernet. Feedback yo!

Nighty night...

A good day's sleep...

I slept a solid eight hours this morning, all praises due to generic Tylenol PM. I finally rolled out of bed about five, had some dinner (breakfast), took a run, went to the gym, and came to work. I feel great! It's like it's the middle of the day (at 2:30 in the morning), and my brain works and everything. I just finished Life on the Other Side by Sylvia Browne, and straightened out my fantasy football team. I'll probably get to work on my Italian grammar at this rate. If I feel this way every night, it might just be worth it. Let's see if I can stay on my schedule over the weekend.

I was watching Link TV earlier, while I was working on the daily reports. Mayor Ray Nagin was being asked whether he thought the slow Federal response was due to racism. He denied it, but I thought what he did say was interesting. It was something along the lines of "I don't think it had much to do with race... I do think it had to do with class." And I thought, what a relief: when do US political figures ever talk about class? It is a completely taboo subject in this country. I don't mean to suggest that the subject of race is at all dealt with forthrightly... but at least there's a semblance of a dialogue. Conservative elites have been absolutely disciplined in crying "class warfare" whenever the subject of class is raised, and as a result... it just doesn't get raised.

And the predictable result?

The wealth of the 400 richest Americans (the Forbes 400) totals more than $1.1 trillion -- an amount greater than the gross domestic product of Spain or Canada, the world's eighth- and ninth-largest economies.

The number of Americans "officially" in poverty (income $9,827 for singles, $19,157 for a two-adult, two-child family) is 37 million... about as many people as there are in Poland.

This country is totally split along class lines, with ridiculous amounts of power concentrated in a few hands - with corporate control of the economy driving more and more Americans into poverty and taking away the minimal social safety net built up over the years. All in service of an ideological agenda that should have been more than discredited in the Reagan years.

Shit.

At the same time (to return to my usual apocalyptic theme), we have the spectre of rapid climate change threatening not only Americans but people all over the planet - of course with the worst consequences to befall the poorest everywhere. And this is not even to begin to mention all the species that will be destroyed through habitat loss, whether through climate change or pollution.

Double shit. Triple fucking shit.

Here come those Santa Ana winds again...

It was a beautiful October day, mid 80s at the beach and bright bright sun. I smelled smoke on my way to work today, though, which does remind one of the downside of the Santa Anas. Still, I'm glad I enjoyed it, since the cooler weather is coming back this weekend.

I am working nights now, 10:30 to 6:30; I'm basically on Central European Summer time, getting to work at 7:30 in Rome, and going home at a respectable Italian 3:30. It's mostly just busy work until things get hopping in Puerto Rico at around 4:30 am Cali time, but the main difficulty for me is working at night and sleeping during the day. I'm basically subsisting on short naps through the day, and I feel like I'm walking underwater a lot of the time. I was really planning on writing and studying at night, but until my rhythms even out, it's all I can do to function.

This BBC programme has yet another reference to Bush telling foreign leaders about his conversations with God. It would be laughable, but this cartoonish Christianity is shockingly common at high levels in the US government. Future generations will shudder...

It's good to see conservatives attacking each other the way the left has for so many years; we shouldn't get too excited about this, though, because the Democrats are so pathetic they can't even take advantage of the first opportunity they've had in a generation. Still, it's kind of nice to see Ann Coulter going after her own side for a change. It's a crack-up, though, to see her rip into this guy for not getting the (admittedly confusing) difference between "which" and "that." Somebody get this woman a sandwich!

Interesting facts about Grandma Justice...




Before we get all excited about this woman because the Republicans are pissed she got named, let's bear a couple things in mind:

• She is said to be on the "extreme end" of the pro-life movement (like, there is a "moderate" end?)
• She opposed the repeal of the Texas anti-sodomy statute struck down by her would-be predecessor Sandra Day O'Connor.

She's no Ruth Bader Ginsburg... but then again, neither is Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

The party of pussies...

Bush's pick got confirmed as Chief Justice today. I can't blame Republicans for being Republicans - I mean, who did we think they were going to put in there, Noam fucking Chomsky? - but the capitulation of the "opposition" party really chaps my ass. 22 out of 44 Democratic senators - half!! - voted for Bush's guy. This shit went down when his approval ratings suck, he looks like an assclown after Katrina, Rove and DeLay are both in legal trouble, and Big Dick Cheney was under anesthesia - it was the perfect opportunity to show some backbone. All the other team's stars were on the fucking bench. But no, they folded like they always do. Even Pat Leahy and Russ Feingold, for Chrissake. Rrrrrrr...

I am utterly sick of electoral politics. Denise was looking at the November ballot and talking about reading through all the initiatives, etc... I can't even get excited enough to go vote down Jerry Sanders. Real change is not going to happen through elected officials. I mean, I can see the benefit of trying to stop real psychos, like Bush or David Duke, from getting elected. By and large though, I would like to see progressives focus more on organizing people and less on grooming star candidates like Hillary or Obama (Goddess bless him). But, I'm an apocalyptic anarchist, so I see no remedy until things get so out of control that we have a revolution. Which - don't get me wrong - will suck for the people still in what will soon be known as "the former U.S.A." But it will be better for the world in general when this big crazy country gets split up into a bunch of little Whiteman-istans.

Another entry in my list of potential disasters to come: prehistoric viruses from the ice! Whoo-hoo! Bring on Captain Trips and Randall Flagg!

Working with what I have...

My life has been sort of low level chaos of late. Denise has been mad busy and I wish we could see each other more... but that's karma, and on balance it's the right energy for us. Meanwhile, work has been weird: we are dealing with the Puerto Rico school system, bringing up fifteen to thirty schools a day on to satellite internet. It's been interesting trying to get my Spanish up to the level where I can communicate technical issues over a shitty cell connection. I'm realising I don't speak the language near as well as I thought I did, but at the same time I have more confidence in at least speaking conversationally at a basic level.

I thought I would be speaking more Spanish in California than I ended up speaking. It's a lot like Hawai'i in that way; people stay in their ethnic enclaves for the most part. Hell, the woman I'm in a relationship with is Italian-Irish-German like myself! I'm really interested in bridging the culture gap more, same as I did back in the islands. The anti-Minuteman protests are over, so having missed out on that I am going to have to strike out on my own. I'm scouting for pro-migrant organisations I can help out with; like everything else in my life, though, it is going to have to wait on my schedule becoming more stable.

I'm relieved about this hurricane - both that the direct loss of life is low to none, and that we're not looking at more and more gas price increases. I'm still buying my gas almost exclusively at Citgo, so I feel pretty good about paying a little more than the absolute lowest price since it goes to help the poor, even in this country. My economics are still a little tight... which is another reason why it's good that I don't have a lot of time to spend with D... less temptation to spoil her!

He's Baaa.... aaack!

Now that nobody reads this thing anymore... guess I can get back to writing. Journaling. "To blog" is not a verb. So there.

I got distracted for a while by my move, and by Hurricane Denise, but now I'm settling into what feels like a new pattern. Nothing too monotonous, you understand... there will definitely be some good chaos with the changing around of my work schedule, and with D back in my life there's no chance of things being boring. But I am really feeling like I'm here now, and like I am establishing the next phase of my life.

We've been working a lot of disaster recovery issues from New Orleans at work, and since they have Fucks News on all the time I have just been marinating in Katrina stuff. One day, after work, I took my usual walk down to the beach. On my way back, I noticed two big white buses and a cop car out in front of the Apple Tree. There were a bunch of African Americans kind of milling around, and I noticed they all had really really thick Southern accents. You see all kinds of things in OB, so I just kept cruising on. A few paces later, though, I stopped. I turned back around, and I made eye contact with a guy about my age. I asked him, "are you from New Orleans?" He said, "Yeah." I shook his hand, did the guy handshake/body-check/hug thing and told him, "I'm glad you're all right."

I really think we're moving into a period of increasing danger and collapse. I believe we are already in a period of rapid climate change, of which Katrina was just a dramatic symptom. people have already forgotten about the peat bogs melting in Siberia, which will speed things up even more. At the same time, the US Empire is going to be starting its period of collapse, and it's not going to be pretty. The economy is also very unstable and that will make all of the other problems worse.

If I sound mad pessimistic, that's because I am. At the same time, I have a lot of hope at the individual level. The important people in my life really love me, and there small groups of committed people all over the world doing wonderful things. It will be a time of widespread chaos... and I do love chaos! So I'm not depressed about it, though I want to cry for all of the lives that are going to be cut short in the coming years.

Work for change. Be brave. And love those who are close to you.

Americans "oppressed..."

I love this!

Venezuelan leader: U.S. citizens oppressed

HAVANA, Cuba (AP) -- Saying that U.S. citizens are oppressed by their own government, Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez promised Friday that he would not visit the United States again until Americans "liberate" their nation.

Chavez, in Havana for trade talks, told an international gathering of activists here that before an earlier trip to Cuba, a U.S. State Department undersecretary he did not identify warned him not to go because he would no longer be received in Washington.

He said he went ahead with that trip anyway, and later traveled to the United States to visit U.S. President George W. Bush, who he said greeted him with a Coca-Cola in his hand.

"I have not returned, nor do I think about returning again, until the people of the United States liberate that nation," said Chavez, saying that Americans are "oppressed" by their government and U.S. media.

Chavez considers Cuban President Fidel Castro a political ally and close personal friend, and Washington has grown increasingly alarmed by their deepening political and economic alliance.

During Chavez's current visit, the two countries have signed a host of economic and other accords, including a deal for Cuba to buy $412 million in goods from the South American nation, with Cuba waiving all import duties.

Venezuela's state oil company also has opened an office in Havana this week, agreeing to help explore for and refine any crude deposits discovered off the island's coast. It also announced that the 53,000 barrels it has been sending to Cuba since 2000 at preferential terms was recently increased to up to 90,000 barrels daily.

Chavez also criticized the current Latin American tour by U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, referring to her as an "imperial lady" who is trying to divide and conquer the hemisphere's developing nations.

Despite Chavez's anti-U.S. comments, his country is the world's fifth largest oil exporter and a top crude supplier to the United States.

Hilo my hometown...

Hilo can drive you crazy, get on your nerves, then one day show you how sweet and beautiful she can be. Oh well, I never intended to leave forever, or get this place completely out of my head and heart. But the wedding yesterday really gave me crazy homesickness pangs. I kind of feel like a traitor... for all these years of being a Hilo booster, "the Big Island's so great," etc... now I'm the one who's bailing. Wah.

David wants to throw me a huge party on Cinco de Mayo (but really on Siete de Mayo because Cinco's on a Thursday this year). And Mrs. Miyashiro wants to make me a huge turkey dinner. Wah. Wah. Waaah!

I know I'm doing the right thing, it's not that. It's just more painful than I had thought to uproot myself.

Benedictus Sextus Decimus...



Former Hitler Youth. Headed (until today) the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith, formerly known as the Inquisition. Thinks Turkey is "too Muslim" for the EU (which has like 50 million Muslims). Tells American Catholics how to vote... and may have handed the election to George W. Bush. Believes civil unions is "the legalisation of evil."The silencer of Hans Küng. The liquidator of Liberation Theology. The "Panzerkardinal."

Well, as Yoda said, "always two there are; a Master and an Apprentice." So, we should keep an eye on Darth Benedict's student...

"Christo-fascism..."

I have been trying really hard, over the past number of years, to come to terms with my Christian heritage. I'm a pretty spiritual man, and though nominally a Buddhist for some time, I really support the Dalai Lama's injunction to stick to one's religion of birth. But, despite all the many wonderful Catholics I have met and read about, there's just far too much in the tradition and the dogma that I cannot accept, and I no longer feel at home in the Church.

I have been able to develop a good respect for the many great things that committed Christians have done to further the cause of social justice and the search for transcendent truths, either as a result of, or in spite of, their faith. So it's really hard for me to accept the increasing intolerance of American Christians, and the sort of naked grab for power. This certainly involves many Catholics, but it is mostly Protestant fundamentalists - activist, politically-connected, and rich - that are leading the charge. As a non-Christian, I don't feel like I'm picking on any one sect, but rather a whole political drift that offends and worries me. Call it Christo-fascism.

>One glaring and painfully obvious example - and one that is totally off the radar of the national media - is Senate bill S. 520 (House version H.R. 1070), AKA the "Constitution Restoration Act" (CRA). The stated purpose of this bill - right at the top, without any weasel words or fudging - is to prevent the Supreme Court from having "jurisdiction to review... any matter... against an entity of Federal, State, or local government, or against an officer or agent of Federal, State, or local government... concerning that entity's, officer's, or agent's acknowledgment of God as the sovereign source of law, liberty, or government."

Goddess help us!

This is another scary chapter in the spread of a certain kind of millenialism in American society. In every era there has been one or another group of Christians adamant in their belief that Christ's return is imminent. What's new about these times is that there are End-Timers in positions of power in the most powerful country on the planet. It may be years before we know the degree to which the Iraq war was at least partly advocated by those who wanted to provoke Armageddon in the Middle East in order to hasten the Glorious Appearing of Jesus Christ. But what is manifestly obvious - from the Terri Schiavo shitstorm to the illegalization of D & X and on and on - is that the voices of people who believe the world is ending are louder than ever in the halls of government. And they are almost unopposed, largely I think because of successful (and untrue) propaganda that the ruling party's victory in the last national election was due to the electorate's "moral values."

We are being manipulated, lied to, and confused into what may well be an American Taliban state. And progressives, rationalists and freethinkers are silent and marginalised.

Keep your eye on the CRA here.

And pray.

The Bolivarian revolution in the time of "World War IV..."

We're moving into an era of stark choices and harsh realities. American millenialist fundamentalism, wedded to good old fashioned economic imperialism, is locked in a death struggle with its freakish mirror image: Muslim jihadists bent on a restoration of the ancient Caliphate. Hovering around the edges is a sort of nervous European "kinder, gentler" capitalism: too timid to be a real counterweight to the US, but unhappy with its extremism. China seems to be sitting this one out.

And then there is the global South.

The billions below the Equator have never done well with modernity, and they were pawns in the global power struggle of the last century. But some of the best ideas on how to build a saner society have come from the South. Despite this marginalisation, one nation in particular - oil-rich Venezuela - is increasingly drawing attention to itself for its novel political ideas.

The Bolivarian revolution is often associated with Chávez, and while he obviously provided a strong initial impetus - not to mention, political power - towards that work, it is clear that at this point the movement has a life of its own.The goal of the Bolivarian revolution involve social change in the context of a participatory democracy, where citizens are carrying out programs in their own communities, under their own control. I liken this dynamic element of the Bolivarian revolution, echoes of the old principle of subsidiarity, that revolutionary principle first enunciated by, of all people, a Catholic Pope.

A significant element in the Bolivarian revolution is the importance of education. The goal is to have free education from childhood to the graduate level carried out to further Bolivarian ideals in different spheres of work. According to the rector of the Bolivarian University: “education is not just to create professionals. Education is much more than that. Knowledge is power, and more people with knowledge empowers the whole population. Educating women empowers not only the women educated, but the whole population. Creating critical thinkers, a population of intellectuals, is a much more profound project than just preparing people for jobs.”

An interesting part of all this is that the revolution, for once, is well funded. In these years of high prices for oil, Venezuela's state oil company is generating big profits to be invested in social programs: what Chávez has called sembrar el petróleo (to harvest the oil). In this instance, the rich are not being expropriated to finance the revolution. Rather, in a geopolitical act of jiujitsu breathtaking in its irony, the capitalist system's thirst for oil is being exploited to finance a post-capitalist alternative. This is probably one of my favourite elements in this whole story.

The Venezuelan government under Chávez has created a number of different programs which are called "missions:" Mission Robinson, which is concerned with elementary level education; Mission Ribas, for high-school level education; Mission Sucre at the college level and Mission Vuelvan Caras ("about face"), which provides education in the trades. In addition,Mission Mercal brings staple foods to the barrios and countryside at prices affordable by Venezuela's poor. And Mission Barrio Adentro ("into the neighborhood") is establishing an expanding network of neigborhood clinics. This effort has been spearheaded by Cuban medics - who are, however, soon to be replaced by Cuban-educated Venezuelans - to staff clinics for the poor.

The Bolivarian revolution presents an alternative model for a real and participative democracy. The Bolivarians pursue the old socialist goals of health care for all, free access to education and a decent quality of life, but without the stultifying bureaucracy and social injustice that doomed the dinosaurs of the Soviet bloc. If it delivers on even a fraction of its promise, it will stand as a shining example that the world need not follow the scary and dehumanising path laid out by the dour men and their Bibles and Korans.

[*] Heinberg, Richard, “The Party’s is Over: Oil, War and the Fate of Industrial Societies”, 3rd Edition Revised, New Society Publishers, Canada 2003.

Using the IED of truth to explode the SUV of dogmatic expression...

My Unitarian Jihad Name is: The Garrote of Courteous Debate.

Get yours.

RIP Karol Józef Wojtyła...



I saw the pope in 1979, with a million other people in a monster outdoor Mass at Logan Square in Philadelphia. He spoke with a heavy accent and made his famous declaration "the priesthood is to be permanent, celibate and male." A tough, conservative Pontiff went over huge in tough, conservative Philadelphia, and I was in one of my brief Catholic periods. I went to Mass maybe five times that year.

Eventually I got some perspective on the Pope... all the anti-woman, anti-gay, top-down, do-as-We-say rhetoric took the shine off his halo for me. The final straw was when he purged Liberation Theology in Latin America, at a time when the Church was the only institution standing up for the poor, and priests and nuns were raped and slaughtered.

Of course, my heart goes out to all who are touched by his death. And big ups to him for recognising anti-semitism and promoting humility and atonement among Catholics. But, to me, this hard-line, hard-ass Pope was no Saint.

RIP Terry Schiavo...

I almost don't want to post anything on this, cause it's been so incredibly overplayed. But lost in all the crazy Culture War atmospherics is an incredibly poignant fact: this woman lay in a "persistent vegetative state" (whatever the fuck that means) for years due to complications of her bulimia.

Now imagine that neither her husband and her family claims to be aware of her condition. She lost more than a hundred pounds. She had stopped menstruating. Her eyes were bloodshot, her nails brittle, she bruised easily. I mean Jesus Christ.

It's just amazing than no one wants to talk about this. How many other women are dead and dying of this horrible sickness, this hidden secret of our thin-obsessed society?

Respect your Mother...

This Easter, my friend Heather got a heavy lesson in caution while in nature. I'm still in shock with how easily she could have been taken... and appreciative at how gentle our Hawaii climate is. Add it to the list of things I will miss...

Clever...

The answer to the classic neo-con question here.

Instead of my own writing I'm linking to other people's. Gee this "blog" stuff is easy!

Seriously, I'll write something real at some point..